Friday, February 29, 2008

Fear

Last night Dylan woke up crying...it wasn't a normal cry. I went to his room and he was a big sweat ball, eyes closed, stiff as a board, scream crying. I had no idea what was wrong, he wouldn't stop. I decided to take him to the bathroom just in case he had to go and he wouldn't even stand up without being wobbly. That is when the feeling of being scared came over me. There was something wrong and I couldn't figure it out, what if he was really sick and something was happening to him.

It is amazing how quickly my fear creeps back up and inside of me.

I finally had him come into bed with Mark and I. He stopped. Mark asked him if he was ok and he let out a whimper of yes. Are you sad? He answered yes about mommy and daddy. Marks response was mommy and daddy are here...i love you.

I then was angry that whatever dream that my son had dreamed was so intense that it caused him that much fear.

I asked Dylan in the morning if he remembered crying last night, he looked at me like I was crazy for saying such a thing and said no. I guess it is just me that will have to work past the fear.